Holy Crow! Is it really Unit 5 already?
Ok, time for confessions:
I have not kept up with the Loving-Kindness meditation.
It is entirely possible that I will not keep up the subtle mind meditation, nor the loving-kindness one.
My kid thinks he is Spider-Man; that's my only explanation for him climbing on EVERYTHING.
Whew! Now that I got that off my chest, let's get on with the Unit 5 meditation results.
First off, I hate breathing. Not really. I thoroughly enjoy breathing; I just hate being told how to breathe. I never seem to do it right when I am told how to do it; either I let it out too soon or don't breathe in deep enough. With this meditation, I felt like I was hyperventilating when I had to start with 10 deep breaths. I also got a little confused about the "focus point". I kept thinking if I was suppose to be looking at something while I did this meditation. Then I realized the focus point was my breathing.
I am sensing an underlying theme of frustration when it comes to doing these meditations. My apologies to those that follow my blog.
I didn't get to finish the whole thing because my son woke up from his nap and was a huge ball of fussiness and snot. Me thinks he is trying to catch another cold.
When I got to the part where I was suppose to bring my mind back to my breathing if it began to wander, I had to do that several times. My mind was like the front desk of a psychiatric ward where all the doctors, nurses, and patients were me. They were all heffers. On the bright side, they looked like they could squat like nobody's business. I guess what I am trying to say is that my mind was all over the place. I have a long way to go before I get that "Teflon" mind where everything can ebb and flow without sticking.
I think the whole "Teflon" thing is a little weird. Think about it. Why does Teflon stick to pans when nothing is suppose to stick to Teflon?
As far as benefits, I think the thing I got out of this was being more aware of just how jumbled my mind really is. Most of it was just everyday Life things, bills, family, weather, why my right pinky toe is different from my left. The rest of it was really just background noise that glues it all together. There were certain things that seemed to stay longer than others and I think this is what the lady was saying about being "pulled" toward that thought. I have to agree with the lady doing the meditation, it is interesting how our mind is trained to worry over things like a dog gnawing on an old bone.
Oh well, I am grateful for the extra awareness to my jumbled mind that this exercise provided. Notice I said grateful, not thankful. I am grateful for the awareness because it is an opportunity for more growth.
TTFN: Tata For Now
Mel
Your blog made me chuckle (heh, I said chuckle). I understand your frustration with the exercise. I make it a point to meditate daily, or at any chance I can, even while sitting in traffic. I have found that just taking a random moment to focus on nothing but my breathing, helps lay some foundation for when I do my sitting meditations. Some days, my mind just wont be quiet, and I have to do it later. Other days, my mind is like a huge, wave less ocean, chilling. It takes a lot, and I do mean a lot of practice to get it down. Don't worry, just keep practicing!
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