Cockiness, loving-kindness, and mental workouts

I hate it when I get cocky...like I did this week.

That being said, fortunately, it hasn't happened to me very often.  I am also somewhat blessed/cursed that when I do find myself starting to strut, I get knocked back into place pretty darn quick...and hard.  It's kind of annoying, now that I think about it.  I am sure we've all met someone who is just so cocky that the inner you just wants to punch them in the face.  Nothing happens (or seems to happen) to put them in their place; yet when I start to stick my chin out, WAH-BAM! Knocked back into place.

I guess in a way, I am grateful that I get humbled quickly.  I can't stand cocky people.

Of course, there could also be another explanation behind the Universe's quick reaction to my perceived cockiness.  Maybe, secretly, I am that person that has unknown powers and the Fates/Universe has looked at all the possible realities of my life.  They know that if I am allowed to remain in my cocky state, my powers will rise and I will achieve world domination!  So in order to save mankind, it has become of the uppermost importance to put me back in my place should I start to get cocky.

Then again, I could just have really sucky timing...and read way too many comics in my day.

Oh well, onto Unit 4 exercise: Loving-Kindness.

Was anyone else surprised by the way Dacher sounded? Nobody ever sounds like the way I imagine them sounding. Weird.

It wasn't hard for me to picture a longtime friend and loved one when I was prompted to.  I was able to picture her face quite clearly, even though it has been years since we've seen each other.  Remarkably, I was even able to follow the instructions about letting my mind roam free and just accepting the images/thoughts that came up.  I was feeling pretty relaxed by this point and thinking maybe I had finally gotten the hang of mediating, when the woman mentioned something about breathing in the suffering of my loved one.  That pulled me up short.

Something about that just didn't feel right.  I know the instructions said that the "suffering" that was being breathed in would just dissipate, but I still didn't like it.  I am not one to call something down on myself, so I did not "breathe in the suffering" of my loved one.  Instead, I concentrated on sending extra strength and light to help get them through whatever hardships they were facing.

Another aspect that I seemed to have a little trouble with was sending loving-kindness to an enemy.  There is only one person that I have bestowed that title to and, to be honest, I hadn't thought of her in years until this exercise.  She has not clouded my thoughts in many years, nor have I spared any energy dwelling on her, until this exercise.  I had, up to this point, erased her from my mind.  When it came time to do this part of the exercise, I didn't do it.  I wasn't feeling angry or hurt by her, like so long ago.  I neither wanted to send her loving-kindness or anger; I felt nothing toward her.  It was like looking at a piece of abstract art; I neither loved it or hated it.  It was just there.  I imagine that somewhere down the line, this may be the next step in my psychological growth.

I can see the benefit of a meditation like this one.  I believe that being able to send loving-kindness to loved ones, as well as strangers and especially enemies may be the highest form of forgiveness.  Maybe not forgiveness to loved ones or strangers, so much as to our enemies.  Maybe sending loving-kindness to enemies is the best way of letting go of the unresolved issues and releasing their hold on you.

And maybe I just got a glimpse of my own dilemma...

Enough introspection for the night...onto mental workouts

I believe that training the mind is just as important as training the body.  Being back in college has really helped to stretch my brain cells and wipe the dust off.  College may not be the answer for everyone, though.  I believe that reading can be a good mental workout, especially if the material is forcing you to see something from a different perspective.  I love to read; anything and everything.

Has anyone tried out that website called Luminosity? I signed up for it a few months ago, but never really stuck with it.  It seemed pretty cool.  I got to do some really neat puzzles and memory games.  However, I just didn't get into the habit of logging onto the site and, well, that was the end of that.  I still get emails from them.  Maybe I should try it again and see what happens.

Man, this was a really long post.  I think I am going to sign off.  I will try to do another post that covers the research findings on the benefits of "mental workouts".  Until then,

TTFN: Tata For Now
-Mel